Notice № 001
The Registrar's Office has begun issuing recognition for previously undocumented cultural education.
Office of the Registrar
EARLY ERA ALUMNI
EST. 2005
Different Scenes. Same Degree.
We don't issue diplomas. We issue recognition. If you were there, you already qualify.
Official Communications
The Registrar's Office
All notices are final. All notices are sincere.
Notice № 002
Formal accreditation has been granted to late-night parking lot conversations. Credit is applied retroactively.
Office of the Registrar
Notice № 004
The institution does not observe trends. The institution observes anniversaries.
Office of the Registrar
Course Catalog · 1999–2006
Academic Departments
Declare the major you already completed.
ACT
Enrolling
Department of Action Sports
Commit. Send. Repeat.
ACT-110 · Fundamental Trick Acquisition
AMP
Enrolling
Department of Amplified Music
Three chords and a borrowed bass. Loud enough to mean it.
AMP-310 · Personnel and Turnover
AP
Enrolling
Department of Advanced Placement
Weighted. Ranked. Awake.
AP-125 · Collaborative Assignment Dynamics
ATH
Enrolling
Department of Athletics
Two-a-days in August. Friday nights in October.
ATH-105 · Preseason Conditioning
AUTO
Enrolling
Department of Automotive Sciences
Parked out back. Cold starts, loud exhausts, good times.
AUTO-301 · Parking Lot Occupancy
DRAM
Enrolling
Department of Dramatic Arts
Cast list on Monday. Strike party on Sunday.
DRAM-301 · Casting and Its Consequences
EMO
Enrolling
Department of Emotional Studies
Feeling every lyric. Hoodies year-round.
EMO-301 · Composure and Concealment
IND
Enrolling
Independent Study
Attendance: perfect. Participation: none.
IND-125 · Faculty Sponsorship
MARCH
Enrolling
Department of Marching Arts
Eight to five. Ninety degrees. Every August.
MARCH-108 · Drill Memorization
SYS
Enrolling
Department of Systems & Lore
Fluent in worlds that did not exist.
SYS-401 · Seminar in Applied Fluency
General Education Requirements
Completed by all students. No exemptions were granted.
CORE-101Dial-Up Networking
CORE-105Away Message Composition
CORE-110Home Phone Protocol
CORE-115Mix CD Sequencing
CORE-120Note Folding and Delivery
CORE-125Video Store Selection
CORE-130Top Eight Management
Permanent Collection
The Campus Archive
Nothing here is for sale. It is being preserved.
Artifact 03.017
Away Message
c. 1999–2006
Used to communicate emotional availability while avoiding direct conversation. Frequently featuring song lyrics understood by an audience of one.
Artifact 01.004
Burned CD
c. 1999–2006
A handmade document of feeling, labeled in permanent marker. Track order was a language. Distribution constituted a formal gesture.
Artifact 07.022
The Parking Lot
c. 1999–2006
Primary campus facility. Hosted lectures, recitals, and unscheduled seminars under sodium light. Attendance was never taken and never missed.
Artifact 05.009
The Family Computer
c. 1999–2006
Shared terminal, hallway placement. Site of first usernames and long negotiations over connection time. The dial tone is on file.
Official Issue
The Campus Store
Garments are not sold. Membership is issued.
Closed for Inventory
The Campus Store opens at the start of the semester. Applicants are notified first.
Early Era Alumni
Official Alumni Association
Different Scenes. Same Degree.
Classic Crest Tee
Ivory · Registrar's Office
Not yet on sale
EMO
Department of Emotional Studies
Feeling every lyric.
Department Cap
Forest · One per department
Not yet on sale
B.A.A.
Bachelor of Applied Adolescence
Conferred retroactively.
Degree Tee
Navy · Identical for every member
Not yet on sale
Required Coursework
AUTO-201 Advanced Parking Lot Occupancy
EMO-301 Composure and Concealment
MARCH-108 Drill Memorization
IND-125 Faculty Sponsorship
SYS-401 Seminar in Applied Fluency
EMO-301 Composure and Concealment
MARCH-108 Drill Memorization
IND-125 Faculty Sponsorship
SYS-401 Seminar in Applied Fluency
Course List Tee
Black · Printed from your transcript
Not yet on sale